I don't see obsessive compulsive disorder being the cause of this..You must have another mental illness..Maybe bipolar or something but you don't have to let it ruin your life.You can make the decision to want to get better.. Seek help and be willing to try new things like counseling and medications..Be very open with your doctor about your thoughts and make sure you find a good doctor that is a good listener and you will get better..Good luck and God bless you.
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